As another December draws to a close, the year-in-review pop culture listicles file in, inevitable as the march of time itself. Yes, even in 2020 — whether that feels frivolous in light of this year’s grim events, macabre given the pandemic’s effect on the entertainment industry, or essential as a way of combating all that. (Or maybe perfunctory since you can just throw Folklore and Evermore in the top spot and call it a day.) …

Every year, as August slips away into September, it’s natural to reminisce about the summer that is ending and romanticize what was (or could have been). But as with many previously normal activities, the events of 2020 have turned this banal seasonal nostalgia into an uncanny, mind-warping exercise. Of course, for me the idea of summer being in any way special died long ago, when I entered the workforce and a three-month break became “the same as the rest of the year, only sweaty.” And surely, no summer in recent memory has felt less special, with days once reserved for…

Frozen II is finally available on home video, and by now you’re doubtless familiar with “Show Yourself,” Elsa’s rapturous emotional turning point and clear successor to “Let It Go.” Or maybe you’re not, in which case I have a pretty strong sense of what your results on this quiz will be! Either way, there’s only one way to determine whether you’re searching a cavernous plateau of ice for the unseen force that has beckoned you north. Let’s find out!

The Quiz

1. At the beginning of this quiz, how much of you is trembling?

A) Every inch, but not from the cold. B) Every inch, and it’s definitely from the cold. C) Some portion of…

Okay, here it is: I think Cats the movie might be Good.

I KNOW. I know the critics (PEOPLE OF WIDELY ESTABLISHED WRONGNESS, SO IDK WHY YOU LISTENED TO THEM) all told you it was bad, and had a field day doing so. BUT. What if, actually, Cats is… Good?

Hear me out. Let us discuss some of the things that happen in Cats, which is itself mostly a succession of cats saying “let us discuss some of the things that happen involving cats.” In keeping with the spirit of Cats, there will be no real order to these thoughts…

Fanboys gonna fan fan fan fan fan! I’ve sat with the exquisite Lover long enough now that I can live with the opinions I’m going to offer here — at least until TS8 — so it’s time to update one of my least controversial tierings. At this point, it’s tradition.

Feel free to revisit the Reputation-era tiering and the original version. As always, passing time may bring recalculations.

TIER I: It’s Golden

The Queen, the Goddess, my Inspiration.

Our Song, Fearless, Love Story, You Belong with Me, Forever and Always, Back to December, Dear John, Enchanted, Red, Treacherous, All Too Well, Blank Space, All…

You’re going to get angry when you read this. So Dr. Banner, you should maybe close this tab now; as for the rest of you, perhaps your anger will be mitigated by the knowledge that, when it comes to the MCU, I am a bandwagon newb.

In late 2017, I had seen exactly 50% of the 16 Marvel movies released to that point, and mostly because I tagged along with friends. I was neither very tapped in to nerd culture nor much of a moviegoer at the time. The meta-narrative of the Marvel universe was barely on my radar.

And…

If you know me, you know that I love two things:

1. Christmas movies!
2. An opportunity to arbitrarily sort things by quality!

So here is my holiday gift to all of you. For my purposes, a “Christmas movie” is defined as “any motion picture of any length including as a significant element the celebration of a winter holiday.” I’m only evaluating the examples I personally have seen, so don’t come in here whining about how could I leave out Die Hard or The Nightmare Before Christmas, because I haven’t seen them!

Tier I: Joy to the World

The following films are inarguable classics. Required viewing every December…

There is a type of bird called a brood parasite, which as a reproductive strategy lays its eggs in the nests of other birds and leaves them to do the parenting. Thus some unsuspecting sparrows or warblers end up raising a conspicuously large cowbird or cuckoo (whence comes cuckold), usually at the expense of the host birds’ own offspring.

I, too, am an impostor. I have walked among the hardcore birders and been accepted as one of their own, despite my oversized lack of knowledge and clashing plumage of inexperience. “Anything good today?” a bebinoculared stranger asked me recently on…