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Brandon Michael Lowden
Brandon Michael Lowden

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Dec 28, 2020

What Is “Gloumbes”?

A Calendar Reform Proposal — In our modern world of global telecommunication, the Gregorian calendar has become a universal standard. To be fair, it is a very solid calendar, but I think we can all agree that it could use some improvement. For example, it is ridiculous that February has only 28 days when other…

Calendar

3 min read


Dec 22, 2020

The Best Song of 2020 Was the Last Song of 2019

The Enduring Triumph in Turmoil of Red Velvet’s “Psycho” — As another December draws to a close, the year-in-review pop culture listicles file in, inevitable as the march of time itself. Yes, even in 2020 — whether that feels frivolous in light of this year’s grim events, macabre given the pandemic’s effect on the entertainment industry, or essential as a…

Pop Music

5 min read

The Best Song of 2020 Was the Last Song of 2019
The Best Song of 2020 Was the Last Song of 2019

Sep 1, 2020

Why “Red Flavor” Is the Greatest Work of Art in Human History

Too Many Words on Red Velvet’s Layered Masterpiece — Every year, as August slips away into September, it’s natural to reminisce about the summer that is ending and romanticize what was (or could have been). But as with many previously normal activities, the events of 2020 have turned this banal seasonal nostalgia into an uncanny, mind-warping exercise. Of course…

Pop Music

7 min read

Why “Red Flavor” Is the Greatest Song in History
Why “Red Flavor” Is the Greatest Song in History

Published in The Bee's Reads

·Feb 26, 2020

QUIZ: Are You Currently Performing the Electrifying Power Ballad “Show Yourself” from the Hit Animated Film ‘Frozen II’?

Find out if you’re a daughter of Arendelle on a quest to the heart of a sacred glacier by answering these simple questions! — Frozen II is finally available on home video, and by now you’re doubtless familiar with “Show Yourself,” Elsa’s rapturous emotional turning point and clear successor to “Let It Go.” Or maybe you’re not, in which case I have a pretty strong sense of what your results on this quiz will…

Disney

5 min read

QUIZ: Are You Currently Performing the Song “Show Yourself” from the Hit Animated Film ‘Frozen II’?
QUIZ: Are You Currently Performing the Song “Show Yourself” from the Hit Animated Film ‘Frozen II’?

Published in The Bee's Reads

·Dec 22, 2019

And Now, My Thoughts Upon ‘Cats,’ the Film

Spoiler alert, I guess? But also, does it matter? — Okay, here it is: I think Cats the movie might be Good. I KNOW. I know the critics (PEOPLE OF WIDELY ESTABLISHED WRONGNESS, SO IDK WHY YOU LISTENED TO THEM) all told you it was bad, and had a field day doing so. BUT. What if, actually, Cats is… Good? …

Movies

7 min read

And Now, My Thoughts Upon ‘Cats,’ the Film
And Now, My Thoughts Upon ‘Cats,’ the Film

Published in The Bee's Reads

·Aug 29, 2019

Taylor Swift, Tiered: The ‘Lover’ Era

Your Latest Official Tiering of Every Taylor Swift Song — Fanboys gonna fan fan fan fan fan! I’ve sat with the exquisite Lover long enough now that I can live with the opinions I’m going to offer here — at least until TS8 — so it’s time to update one of my least controversial tierings. At this point, it’s tradition. …

Taylor Swift

3 min read

Taylor Swift, Tiered: The ‘Lover’ Era
Taylor Swift, Tiered: The ‘Lover’ Era

Published in The Bee's Reads

·Apr 24, 2019

A Tiering of the Marvel Cinematic Universe That Will Make You Mad

Like Thanos, I Am the Only One Willing to Face Hard Truths — You’re going to get angry when you read this. So Dr. Banner, you should maybe close this tab now; as for the rest of you, perhaps your anger will be mitigated by the knowledge that, when it comes to the MCU, I am a bandwagon newb. In late 2017, I…

Movies

7 min read

A Tiering of the Marvel Cinematic Universe That Will Make You Mad
A Tiering of the Marvel Cinematic Universe That Will Make You Mad

Published in The Bee's Reads

·Dec 31, 2018

Your Official Tiering of Christmas Movies

(Only the Ones I’ve Seen; Don’t @ Me) — If you know me, you know that I love two things: Christmas movies! An opportunity to arbitrarily sort things by quality! So here is my holiday gift to all of you. For my purposes, a “Christmas movie” is defined as “any motion picture of any length including as a significant…

Movies

11 min read

Your Official Tiering of Christmas Movies
Your Official Tiering of Christmas Movies

Published in The Bee's Reads

·Sep 6, 2018

How to Infiltrate the Weird World of Birdwatching

Your Burning Birding Questions Answered by a Total Non-Expert — There is a type of bird called a brood parasite, which as a reproductive strategy lays its eggs in the nests of other birds and leaves them to do the parenting. …

Birds

10 min read

How to Infiltrate the Weird World of Birdwatching
How to Infiltrate the Weird World of Birdwatching

Published in The Bee's Reads

·Aug 6, 2018

My Favorite Lyric from Every Taylor Swift Song

A Deeply Scientific and Utterly Necessary Survey — Editor’s Note: This piece was originally posted in 2018. It has been (and will continue to be) updated to reflect subsequent releases. Recently, I finally saw the queen, the goddess, my inspiration herself in concert, and I’ve been looking for ways to celebrate the fact that I am now forever…

Songwriting

19 min read

My Favorite Lyric from Every Taylor Swift Song
My Favorite Lyric from Every Taylor Swift Song
Brandon Michael Lowden

Brandon Michael Lowden

musical theater writer • mostly songs about robots

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